HELP MY CHILD IS GETTING BULLIED
WHAT IS BULLYING?
Bullying is the intentional tormenting in physical, verbal, or psychological ways. It can range from hitting, shoving, name calling, threats, and mocking to extorting money or possessions. Some children bully by shunning others or spreading rumors. Older child can use technology to harass other children. The effects of bullying can be serious and affect children’s self-worth and future relationships.
WHY DO CHILDREN BULLY?
Children may pick on other children because they act or appear different. They also bully to feel more important, popular, or in control. They may torment other children because that is the way they have been treated. They may believe that their behavior is normal because they come from families or settings where everyone regularly gets angry, shouts, or calls names.
IDENTIFYING BULLYING IN A CHILD
Especially in young children, it can be difficult to identify examples of bully behavior. Unless your child tells you about bullying or has visible bruises or injury, it may be difficult to figure what is happening. Here are some of the warning signs that your child is being bullied.
• Your child is acting differently and seems anxious
• Your child is not sleeping well
• Your child is not interested in doing things he usually enjoyed
• Your child seems moody
• Your child is easily upset
• Your child will avoid situations like getting on the bus
CHILDREN ARE OFTEN RELUCTANT TO TELL THEIR PARENTS ABOUT BULLYING
If a child tells you about a bully at home, at school, or in your childcare focus on giving comfort and support. Children can often be reluctant to tell their parents about bullying because:
• They feel it’s their own fault because they look or act differently
• They may be frightened if they tell, the bully will get mad and make things worse
• Some children may be afraid that their parents will not believe them
• They may feel why tell my parents, they can’t do anything about it
• They may believe that you will urged them to fight back and they are afraid to do so
When a child gets up the courage to tell you they are being bullied, praise the child for being brave enough for talking about it. Let the child know they are not alone, a lot of people get bullied and it is not their fault, it is the bully who is behaving badly. Reassure the child that you will help them figure it out together.
WHEN YOU IDENTIFY THE BULLY
• Take the bullying seriously.
• Let the childcare provider or school teacher know what is happening.
• If the bullying is occurring in childcare, address it immediately.
• Ask your childcare provider or teacher to talk with the bully’s parents. If you do not get cooperation from the bully’s parents, you may have to take more serious steps. For example: ask your child care provider to drop the bully from her care. If in school you may have to go to a school counselor or school administration.
WHAT CAN YOU AS A PARENT DO?
• Provide a secure attachment to your child
• Closely monitor the child behavior and aggression
• Provide appropriate models for conflict resolution, such as using words to express feelings
• Encourage autonomy and independence in your child
• Be concerned and responsive
• In case of a school age child, involve the school if the abusive behavior continues.