CHILDREN NEED BOUNDARIES
Setting boundaries with your children is often difficult. Especially for working parents who may feel guilty about leaving their children with a childcare provider every day. However, when you fail to set boundaries, children often grow up with a sense of entitlement and feel that their needs are the most important needs in the family. They will often act out to get their way.
Children with no boundaries are often
• Act out when they don’t get their way
• Are selfish
• Do not treat their parents and siblings with respect
• Don’t show compassion
• Resentful
• Rebellious
• Disrespectful
• Feel insecure
Children need clear rules and boundaries. As the parent is it important that you control the balance of power in your home. When you allow your child to demand how things are going to happen in your home, you are now shifting the balance over to the child and this is harmful to both you and your children.
When you start to set limits, your child will most likely try to test the boundaries to get their way. Your children must learn that there are consequences to bad behavior as well as rewards for good behavior. Some children are more persistent that others. But you must remain firm and enforce the rules and the boundaries you have set. When you consistently enforce the consequences for not following the rules, the child will gradually stop testing you, knowing what the outcome will be.
Modeling the way you want your child to act is a vital way to teach your child. If you do not want your child yelling at you, calling you names, or being disrespectful, then you need to examine how you talk to your child. Do you yell at your child? Do you ever call them unkind names, or belittle them when they do something wrong? Always talk to your child the way you want them to talk to you. Using a calm but firm tone. Listen to what they are saying. Listening is not agreeing, but it may give you insight on how your child is feeling.
Sit down together as a family and set the family rules. Make them clear, age appropriate, and simple. Let the children suggest some of the rules that way they will feel a sense of ownership over some of the rules. Remember some rules are non-negotiable. For example: The child must wear a helmet when riding their bike.
If your child is used to being in control, you may have to remind them often. They may have to experience the consequences more than once before your child will remember what is expected of them.
CONSISTENCY IS KEY- ALWAYS FOLLOW THROUGH WITH CONSEQUENCES.