BUILDING YOUR CHILD’S SELF-IDENTITY

BUILDING YOUR CHILD’S SELF-IDENTITY

A child’s self-identity begins to develop during an infant’s earliest experiences. When your infant’s needs are met, when you smile at your infant, and when you talk to your infant, all contribute to your infant developing a positive self-identity.

Preschool children learn self-identity in two ways.

• Physical identity – a sense of size, strength, gender and race or racial awareness
• Personal identity – children’s perception of themselves as a person with ideas, feelings, a history, and a future.

Preschool children generally don’t recognize the physical characteristics that make them different. A child becomes aware of differences through their experiences and daily routines. Your Child will take what you say very literally. Therefore, they will identify with the characteristics you tell them they have.

For example: if you continually tell your child he is lazy, he will be lazy because that is what he believes he is.

The personal identity of a three to six year old children evolves from two major types of experiences:

• How children are treated by people close to them.
• What they observe about the adults they look up too.

Preschoolers learn about themselves by how others respond to them. When you always make time for your child, you are saying that what she has to say is important. There may be times when you cannot stop what you are doing and give your full attention to your child. When that happens, acknowledge your child and let them know you will listen to them as soon as you can.

For example: your child says, “Mommy, mommy come watch me, I can jump really high.” You say, “Wow I really want to see that, give me a few minutes to finish _____”.

Children who think well of themselves are generally eager to learn, are better behaved, and have a more positive attitude. You can have a great effect on the way your preschool child see herself. Your child needs to feel valuable. Even when you are having a bad day, it is essential to find positive things to say. When your child feels valued and important, he will use that validation to assist in developing a healthy and balanced self-esteem.

Developing a positive, loving attachment with your child will allow him to develop a healthy sense of who he is. You should make sure that your child is also developing a secure, strong and trusting attachment to their childcare provider and other adults in their world. Continuity in care during the preschool years is very important for your child to develop a positive self-identity.

Here are some things you would NEVER want to do or say to your child:

• Never put your child down or use discouraging words to describe something they are proud of.

For example: Your child has colored a picture and is proud to show it to you. Instead of praising him for his effort you say, “That’s so messy, you did not stay in the lines.”

• Never use labels that are negative to describe your child.

For example: You are a lazy child.”

• NEVER CALL YOUR CHILD BAD. Remember it is the behavior that is bad not the child

Always respond to your child with respect, love, and positivity. As your child’s positive self-identity grows, she will also develop self-respect. A positive self-identity will develop into positive self-respect. This will allow the child to grow in their social and emotional development helping them to develop positive interactions with others throughout their life.