CREATING A ROUTINE AT HOME -LEADS TO STABILITY

CREATING A ROUTINE AT HOME -LEADS TO STABILITY

 CREATING A ROUTINE AT HOME -LEADS TO STABILITY

As an adult you have control over what you do and where you go.  However, our children do not have any control. Here are three scenarios that might affect your child's behavior.

Imagine that you have no idea what was going to happen the next day.  You were hungry and don't know when you are going to get your meal or what you are going to eat.

 Imagine that you have a lot of homework to do and plan to get started as soon as you get home, but you are whisked right back out the door to run errands and don't get home until late.  

Imagine you are a young child at child care and you are happily building a fabulous building with blocks and you are suddenly picked up from the blocks to go home.   

How might these children react? Here are some behaviors that relect your child trying to have some control over their life:

  • Temper tantrums
  • Talking back
  • Rebellious behavior
  • Power struggles
  • Crying 

How can you resolve these behavioral issues and make your lifes and your children's lives more enjoyable?

The answer is to establish routines in your child's life.  When children know and can expect things to happen at a regular time and place, they become less stressed and more trusting.

There are many benefits to having a regular routine.  When children get used to a regular scheduled routine, they will often not only cooperate, but will help in the preparaton.  

For example: Regular chores, hleping to prepare for dinner by washing hands, setting the table, and putting toys away are all activities that can be part of your regular routine.  

CHECKLISTS/CHARTS

Checklists/charts can help your child to remember routines. Checklist examples:

Morning checklist:

  • Brush your teeth
  • Wash your face
  • Get dressed
  • Comb your hair
  • Eat breakfast

Bedtime checklist:

  • Pick up toys
  • Take a bath
  • Get into Pajamas
  • Brush you teeth
  • Go potty
  • Read book

A checklist reduces the opportunity for a power struggle because it is not YOU telling the child what to do, but it is the CHECKLIST telling them what they have to do next.  There are many sites to get Free printable charts and checklists for children.  On site is www.aboutabowlfulloflemons.net

For younger children who can't read, post pictures, such as a toothbrush or hair brush etc.  

It is important to give your child warning when it is time to end one activity and start another.

For example:  When it is almost time for bed, You could tell your child, "see the clock, when this hand reach the top you have to put your toys aways."  

Often children will respond to other cues. Children respond to music, there many opportunities where you can use music as cues for important transitions to routine activities.

For example:  clean up toys song, brush your teeth song, take a bath song and going to bed or time to get up songs.

Older children who understand and recognize the concept of time respond to verbal cues.

For example: "You have 10 minutes before getting ready for bed"

It is alright to acknowledge that the child does not want to make the transition at the scheduled time, but instead of making it a power struggle, refer to the chart or checklist and don't argue.  

For example:  you might say, "I know you don't want to pick up your toys now, but it is 7:00 and the schedule says you need to brush your teeth to get ready for bed."

It is also alright to reward your child as an incentive.  

For example: You might say, "If you can do it in 5 minutes, I'll read you an extra story."  

Routines also help children to learn to recognize the time when an activity is going to occur.  If you regularly read a book to your child before 'lights out' at bedtime, the child will often pick out the book ahead of time. You can help them to undrstand that the book is not going to be read until all bedtime requirements are met and they are in bed. 

Routines help older cildren learn responsibilities. 

For example:  Your school age child is responsible to put finished homework into their backpack before getting ready for bed.

Making this a part of their routine gives your child control, and responsibility, and independence.  To help your child, add it to their bedtime checklist.

We know that even with the best routines, unexpected things happen.  When children have learned the security of routines, they often learn to accept disruptions and handle changes better.  Especially when they learn that once the disruption is taken care of, they go right back to their routines.  There are also times when unexpected things happen that can enrich the child's life.  You do not want to be so rigid that you miss making memories.

For example:  Waking children up to see a meteor shower, or staying up later on a special occasion.

Don't be afraid to change a routine when something is not working.  

For example:  A child's basketball practice is changed from Saturday morning to a school night.  The routine for that night might need to be adjusted.

If adjustments are for one child, try to keep other children as close as possible to their routine.

Routines, charts, and checklists are some very helpful ways to build stability in your child's life.